Coming out (Part 2)…and stuff

I made the jump and it went really well. He didn’t run away screaming and still thinks I’m a cool person. I couldn’t have asked for a better reaction. He even asked what I needed from him in relation to it all. I don’t really need him to be supportive at this point. The likelihood of him ever being exposed to it given the current situation is extremely small. If that changes, I’ll tell him. Right now I just need him to not be judgmental and be willing to try to accept changes as they come. He can do that. I really can’t believe he’s a real person sometimes…

The other stuff…

I like him…a lot. It’s a problem because, although we have great chemistry as people, he wants a friendship. It’s hard because he is turning out to be everything I have always wanted in a partner and a best friend all wrapped up in one person. I’ve never even found anything close to that before.

I’m not a fan of “friends with benefits” relationships because someone always develops feelings. In the past (for me at least), it’s always been the guy who developed feelings for me. This time I know I would be the one to fail miserably. Although it would be a variation on that theme, and not that type of relationship exactly, I’m already having a hard time keeping those feelings at bay. I’ve never been on this side of things…being the one who’s developing feelings that aren’t reciprocated (and may never be).

Now I don’t have any idea what to do.

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~ by Kj on August 6, 2010.

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